"Stand in the place where you live, now face north. Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before." -R.E.M.

Why I Walked Away From Seminary, Pt. 1

06/03/2009 05:32 PM Filed in: Personal | Pastoral Stuff

In May of 2006 my wife and I moved to Chicago so she could finish her bachelor degree and I could start working in earnest on getting my Master of Divinity degree. After carefully researching the best seminaries in the country, I had landed on Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. The scholarship at Trinity appeared to be first class as it was home to such great biblical minds as D.A. Carson, John S. Feinberg, Graham A. Cole, and many other professors who overused initials on the covers of the books they wrote (a sure sign of theological genius).

We moved over 1,000 miles, we took on a huge financial burden, and we threw ourselves into our work with vigor and determination. Within two years I had a supremely healthy GPA and was well on my way to graduating.

And that’s when I walked away from seminary. This is the story of why.

But to understand it, you’ll have to have a little background.

A Tale of 2 “Josh Crain”s
At the age of 16, I walked down the aisle of Main Street Baptist Church and announced to my pastor and my church family that God had called me to “the ministry.” Looking back, I realize I didn’t know exactly what that meant. In fact, I probably assumed that I was either supposed to travel and lead worship or travel and preach. My father had done those things for years, and I suppose I could see myself preaching to thousands of teenagers at “Youth Evangelism Conferences.” After all, that’s where the “real ministry” happened.

To be honest, it wasn’t that much of a stretch. Because of the opportunities my father had been blessed with, I’d already been leading worship in front of thousands of people each summer. And in a little over a year from the time I walked that aisle at 16 I would have the opportunity to lead worship with my dad and brother at YouthLink 2000, an event held on New Year’s Day of 1999 where we would stand on stage in front of 25,000 students.

At the age of 18 I felt like I was living a double life. There was the “Josh Crain” who attended tiny Grand Saline High School in east Texas: generally respected and mostly well-liked, but certainly not the star athlete or the most popular kid in school.

Then there was the “Josh Crain” who got to stand in front of hundreds and thousands of students and play electric guitar, sign autographs, and have a ton of cute girls from youth camps try to get his phone number. No one from high school got to see that side, and I always wondered how weirded out they would have been to see that going on in the summers.

Thankfully my parents did a great job of not letting some silly “youth camp celebrity” go to my head and I was able to get through high school as a mostly humble, if not a little self-righteous, 18 years old kid.

And what does a self-righteous 18-year-old kid who’s called to “the ministry” do when high school ends? Well, I suppose he goes to a Christian college to prepare himself to preach to thousands of teenagers at Youth Evangelism Conferences.

*part 2 will be posted on Friday

Tags: seminary, Christianity, Pastor, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School