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Driving: Dallas vs. Chicago

06/26/2006 02:24 PM Filed in: Humor

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I don’t even know where to start.  The differences between driving in Dallas and Chicago are too numerous to count.  Here’s a few of my favorites:


1.  In Dallas when you pull up to a red light that has a cross walk, you usually just pull to the front of the cross walk.  In Chicago people actually walk on the cross walk, so doing that will usually get you the bird (sometimes several).

2.  In Dallas when you run a red light because you were rude and pulled out into the intersection to make a left turn even though you knew you wouldn’t make it, people get really mad.  In Chicago when you do that, people get really mad but all of them do it.  Joining them in this routine will usually get you the bird.

3.  In Dallas, most automobiles have Texas license plates.  In Chicago, Illinois plates seem to be way more popular.  Driving around with Texas plates will usually get you the bird.



4.  When driving our Honda Accord in Dallas, I usually felt dwarfed by all of the trucks, SUVs, Hummers, and eighteen wheelers on the road.  In Chicago I have counted exactly four pickup trucks as of this writing.  Driving one will usually get you the bird.
And finally:

5.  People seem to use the bird more often up here in Chicago.  However, they’re so used to using it that it almost seems casual.  It’s not thrust forward in an angry gesture of frustration; it seems to be given out freely out of mere obligation.  “Oh, you have Texas plates.  That will be one bird for you.”  Or, “Oh, you are driving a pickup truck with Texas plates while pulling up on the cross walk: three birds for you, one of which will be held for an extended period of time.”

When people give you the bird in Texas...they mean it.

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